How to Discipline Your Child

When Junior starts playing with his food, splashing his soup with his spoon, do you find yourself playing along with him, belting out a song about Sam the Noodle Soup or do you yell at him to stop making a mess? Many parents are still torn about what parenting styles work. Some don't even want to "restrict their personality" by being too strict. Others feel that in a society of confused values, they need a solid (if slightly rigid) upbringing.

Child experts say that both styles have positive and negative effects on your child. The liberal mom/dad and strict mom/dad labels are all about reward and punishment issues. One type of parent ignores punishment; the other ignores rewards.

What works for you? First, you have to match the child with the parenting style. If you have five kids, for instance, you need to have five parenting styles tailor-fitted to each child and not to a norm. Of course, this is easier said than done; but, hey, it's worth a try.

A parent's approach to discipline, however, isn't absolute. Depending on the situation, a parent may shift from being liberal to strict. Sometimes, when things are tough, you have to move from both styles. It's all about constant adjustment and flexibility; that is, depending on the situation. If you're too rigid, you'll constrict a child. What parent would want their children to feel frustrated?

Proper parenting is about setting clear boundaries, what's acceptable and unacceptable behavior, as well the consequences for specific behavior: natural or imposed, negotiations for terms, and middle ground. That's what growing up and relationships are founded on.

Communication is key. The most important thing about raising a child is to know your child. Know his or her strengths, manage the weaknesses, and support him or her when he or she feels down. Do you know what your child is like? Make a list of things he or she enjoys and doesn't. The more you know about your child, the more you'll figure out how to discipline him or her. It's discipline with love.