How to Teach a Toddler Manners

It's a sad world we live in when a stranger turns a delighted face to you when he hears your two-year-old say "please," and tells you, "It's so nice to see a child with manners!" What does that mean? It means the majority of parents today don't teach their kids manners. We all know they aren't born with them. They don't come out saying politely, "Thank you, Mommy, for giving birth to me." They scream. And while initially they're screaming because of the trauma they've been through, by the time they're 18 months old and they're still screaming it's time they started learning about manners and self-control. And they won't learn it easily. It takes a parent's patience, involvement, and dedication.

In the beginning, the key words, where manners are concerned, for your toddler to learn to understand are "What do you say?" and "What do you do?" It takes time and repetition for them to learn the proper response, so you have to ask these questions a lot and give the same, simple explanations over and over. The best example is using the word "please." Every time your toddler requests something, begin by instructing her to say "please". Once she seems to have gotten the idea, start asking her "What do you say?" when she makes a request without adding "please." When she figures out the right word, encourage and praise her and answer her request. (This does not mean that you give in to every request for which she says "please." She does not need to think it is the magic word that will get her whatever she wants. Explain that while you are very glad she said "please" and you liked it so much, she still cannot have chocolate milk at 12am.) Always thank her for saying "please." After all, she is doing it because you asked her to. Always use "please" yourself when speaking to her and other people.