Book Review: Is It A Choice? by Eric Marcus

Do you wish that you had a witty comeback for that relative who asked you over holiday dinner, "So…how long is this ‘gay phase' supposed to last?" Are your siblings still bringing up questions about your sexuality that you thought you had explained several years ago? Or are you yourself looking for a of GLBTQ resources just for your own information and peace of mind?

In that case, it's a good thing that Eric Marcus' 1993 classic, Is It a Choice? Answers to the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay and Lesbian People (HarperSanFrancisco, 2005), has come out [pun intended] again, heavily revised and with a new introduction. Over 12 years, two previous editions, 75,000 copies and multiple languages, Is It a Choice? has acted as
a primer for queers, their allies and anyone who has ever wondered about GLBTQ people. Now updated to contain information about gay marriage, religion and gay people, and the most recent advocacy and information groups, Marcus' book is ready to educate a new generation.

Marcus notes in his introduction that he's "chosen to stick pretty much to the broad middle of lesbian and gay life." So, if you're trying to explain transgendered identities or BDSM culture to others, look elsewhere in books that specifically address those topics. What you've got here is a basic guide to such inquiries as "What is a homosexual?," "What do gay people do
on a date?" and, of course, the burning question of the decade: "Do all lesbians own Subarus?" (The answer to the last one is a resounding no. I came out about eight years ago, and I still haven't received my congratulatory car.)

On topics like coming out, parents of gay kids, religion and more, Marcus provides simple, factual answers. For example, about gay dating, he writes, "What gay people do on a date varies as much as what heterosexual people do on dates." Emphasizing the common humanity of all people no matter what their sexuality, Marcus models a calm, accepting attitude that may be especially helpful to, say, anxious parents or close friends.