Jetlag Democracy's Top Ten Oscars Moments

Note, this is not a traditional list. I decided to take the backdoor and honor all the weirdness and true moments of hilarity that carried an otherwise mediocre Academy Awards. Please enjoy with caution, and preferably with a drink in hand....

10. Clint Eastwood "translating" the guy who wrote the "Doo, doo, doo" western theme

What the hell was happening here? First off, I know Clint Eastwood is old and all, but he was downright incoherent. Did he complete a single sentence during that rambling of an introduction? I was thinking to myself, "The only thing that could make this moment better is if they parade out this unknown foreign composer and have him deliver a long, somber acceptance speech... in Italian... AND THEN have CLINT EASTWOOD act as his translator." Of course, my wish came true. The best shot was of Ken Wantanabe who, despite his Japaneseness, summed up everyone's feelings with his look of dumbfounded stupor. I love the Academy Awards.

9. Jack Nicolson's shiny bald dome piece

Not much to write about this one... Either Jack was in character for a Jean-Luc Picard biopic or this was the best homage to Britney Spears' downward spiral ever.

8. The Hollywood Sound Effects Orchestra

Usually, the Oscars do some really wacky shit, like interpretive dance moves that celebrate the best movie nominees with shadow puppets. Check. And the only thing that topped that weirdness was The Hollywood Sound Effects Orchestra. Somewhere, up in heaven, John Cage was smiling.

7. The Death montage, always killer

Easily, the most underrated aspect of every Academy Awards ceremony is the death montage. It always makes me think, "Shit, is life really this fragile or is there just never a lack of corpses in Hollywood?" This year was as good as any. Here are a few random thoughts that I thunk as I enjoyed yet another stellar death montage...