Guide for Divorcing Parents

When going through a divorce many people have a wide array of feelings. Hurt, sadness, anger and betrayal are some of the emotions that effect people in the process of the divorce and long after the divorce has been finalized. People will act out and try to hurt each other any way that they can. But parents need to remember that the children are innocent victims in this. Parents need to protect their children as much as possible so as not to cause any emotional problems in their child.

First thing parents need to do is to sit down together and break the news to their child. Remember that during this conversation at no time should you try to lay blame on the other parent. So present a united front to your child and explain that you are no longer going to be husband and wife. Tell your child that you both still love them and will both still be there for them but that you can not do it living together anymore. It does not matter who was the cause of the marriage ending. That is a private matter between you and your soon to be ex spouse. It should never be made known to your child.

Second thing parents need to remember is that children are human beings who deserve love and respect also. They are not objects to be used to hurt each other with. You can never withhold visitation with the other parent and your child just because you want to hurt the other person. You are hurting your child when you do this. Your child did nothing wrong , so why would you want to hurt your child?

Don't make your child try to choose between you. Telling your child how much the other parent has hurt you will make your child feel like they have to be angry at their other parent. This is wrong in every sense of the word. A child needs to be loved by both of you and needs to be able to love both of you. By pitting your child against your ex spouse all you do is hurt your child. You really don't hurt your ex spouse as much as you do the child. So ask yourself if the little bit a pain you have caused your ex worth the huge amount of pain and devastation that you caused your child.