Getting Out of the Rut of Divorce

I was only 23 when my divorce became final - I am now 25. Sure, I have plenty of years ahead of me, a fact that people like to remind me. But, I was with my ex for 6 years - that's a pretty good chunk of my life! I'm at the age that most of my friends are getting married and having kids, and I feel like I went backwards a bit. Then again, I also know people that haven't come close to wanted to be married. The bliss of a single life! It really depends on you as a person and what you want.

I met my ex husband a week after I turned 18. I was a senior in high school and the relationship came as a surprise, even to me. At the time I wasn't thinking of settling down yet - I was dating around and was about to start college. It was a chance meeting - I was taking a friend out after she had a fight with her boyfriend and my now ex pulled up next to me and him and his friend followed us. The rest is history - a very fast and emotionally draining 6 years followed. I changed as a person when I was with him - not for the better. I never used to let anyone walk on me, and now I started to doubt myself. My heart went in this direction and there was no stopping it. Love isn't something you can explain. I worked hard at the relationship even though I should have ran. My ex was bad news but I SO wanted things to work. Perhaps it's because I didn't want to fail, and I didn't want all my time to be wasted. But, after being cheated on and abused, mainly emotionally, but I also got hit once, I finally filed for divorce. Over the years we had broken up so many times that I lost count, and it was no surprise that I took him back for 3 months and ended up filing for divorce again. It was hard sticking to it. I hated him and loved him all the same.