Relationship Advice: Knowing When to Yell

The toilet seat is left up; there are clothes left on the floor; there's a $200 charge to the credit card for something you didn't agree to purchase. All these things (and a good deal more) can cause you and your loved one to argue. The question is: Is this really the issue at hand? Sometimes it is; often times it is not.

We've all been there: you're having a good day, thinking everything is going well, and all of a sudden you are in the middle of a screaming match because you didn't pick up the crumbs on the floor after you ate some potato chips! All you can think to yourself is "this is not a big deal!" Yet, there you are being hollered at like you're 8 years old. Your immediate instinct is going to be to yell right back, but this will do nothing but cause the situation to escalate. So what do you do?

Should you cower, clean up the mess and say, "Sorry. You're right, dear"...the answer isn't as simple as it seems. Of course, you'll want to clean up your mess and acknowledge that you should have done it in the first place out of respect for your loved one. But the next step that most people often fail to do is to ask their loved one a simple question: "What's wrong?"

Most people experience stress during their day, whether it's work, school, family or economic reasons. Money (or the lack there of) is usually a huge stress point with people, leaving us with a feeling of despair over not being able to get a handle on it. These stresses never really find a vent to be released, and come out as a screaming match over a relatively insignificant situation.