How to Spot an Abusive Male

When most women embark upon a new relationship they have a positive outlook for its future. They get wrapped up in the passion and romance and hope that this time is it. That he is "The One." That this time it will last and lead to marriage and family. The last thing any woman wants is to get caught up in an abusive relationship. Abuse can be emotional, mental, physical, and many times a combination of all three. While it can be difficult to recognize an abusive personality early in a relationship there are signs to look for that should send up the red flags-and you running quickly for the nearest exit.

1) He is charming, funny, and makes you laugh, yet he becomes angry quickly and erratically. This is a warning that his emotions are unstable. They lurk just below the surface, ready to explode at any time. Only he knows his triggers and they are not consistent. You will never know whether something will set him off into a tirade or cause him to take you in his arms for a passionate kiss. It may start off with a few quick eruptions that quickly evaporate, but make no mistake that this behavior will escalate over time.

2) He is derogatory and says cruel things about the women in his past, even his mother and female relatives. He debases women as purely sexual beings without minds or characters. He blames his exes for the failure of the relationship. He has nothing positive to say about women in general, although he may still be sweet and sensitive to you. Watch out because he most likely thinks the same things of you, although he hasn't expressed this yet. He will.

3) He is extremely jealous. He doesn't like other men to check you out or speak to you, and God forbid you should speak to another man. At first such jealousy is somewhat romantic and makes you feel protected by his love. It soon tires as you find yourself holding back from interacting with any male, no matter how innocent the exchange, for fear of emotional scenes and rages. This behavior will only get worse.