Advice on Breaking-Up from the Greatest Military Minds of History

Fools say that they learn by experience. I prefer to profit by other people's experience. -Otto Von Bismark

Okay. So you've reached the point with your woman (or man) where things need to end, but you're not sure how to do it. You're in luck. Actually, you're not in luck, you're about to undergo an extremely unpleasant ordeal, which, if it doesn't quite rank up there with storming an entrenched position in the face of machine-gun fire, is still less than an absolutely awesome way to spend a couple of months. Now there have been a lot of essays written about breaking up, but most of them are by whiny people and filled with advice that reads like a warmed over Ann Landers column. Not this one. All the advice in this essay is derived from those giants of history who took part in one of the few activities more painful than romance; war. So take a lesson from the Kaiser and follow the rest of this essay to the letter.

Never reinforce failure.

One of the oldest of all military aphorisms, meaning, very simply, if a tactic is resulting in failure, avoid committing further resources in the hope that effort alone will overcome a fundamental strategic collapse. Which is to say, when it becomes clear that you're relationship is doomed, avoid indulging in the pleasant fantasy that some further action on you're part will allow you to escape the inevitable reality of the dissolution of you're affair.

War Means Fightin', and Fightin' means killin'. - Nathan Bedford Forrest

Now you get to engage in a really awesome experience, hands down one of the best ways to legally spend an afternoon; causing pain to someone you love. But take a page (hopefully the only page) from the future founder of the Ku Klux Klan and man up to your responsibilities. There's no dodging it, there's no getting around it, pick up the phone and crush the psyche of the person you most care about in the world.

Neither the sudden shock of battle nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down. -Sir Winston Churchill