Are You in a Secret Relationship?

There are plenty of reasons why you might want to keep your relationship a secret. Maybe you've been friends for ten years and don't want to tell everyone that it's developed into more. Or perhaps you don't think your family would approve. People in homosexual or interracial relationships often keep it a secret, as well, but when you keep your relationship a secret, you open the door to plenty of problems that can jeopardize the future of your relationship.

At first, secret relationships can feel mysterious and exciting. You arrange dates outside your normal hang-outs and restaurants and you plug a fake name into your cell phone so no one really knows who's calling. After a while, however, the secrecy of the relationships becomes a chore and you are forced to re-evaluate your reasons for keeping your secret. When you remain in hiding and in fear, you close the door to true intimacy and you run the risk of ruining the relationship before it really has a chance to begin.

Give Family and Friends Some Credit

Often, secret relationships are the product of unfounded fears. Is it really so hard to believe that the people you love will be supportive? Can you not imagine your friends and family welcoming your significant other into your lives? It's important to at least try and give friends and family the benefit of the doubt when it comes to secret relationships. Give them a chance to come to terms with the idea, regardless of the reason for their potential anger or disappointment.

Evaluate Your Reasons for Secrecy

You must also try and figure out why you and your significant other are battling for secrecy. Is a secret relationship really necessary? Sometimes it helps just to bite the bullet if you are worried what other people will think. You have to realize that the only thing that matters is how you feel about the other person. Sometimes, the reasons for a secret relationship boil down to the fact that you don't really want to be together. If this is the case, you're better off cutting your losses before anyone gets hurt.

Tell Friends and Family Alone