Should You Help Your Child Out of Debt?

By ST, published Mar 16, 2007
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We want the best for our children and we would do anything to help them. Seeing your child in pain or trouble is one of the most heartbreaking experiences, but sometimes help isn't the best thing. When your child finds him or herself in debt, your first instinct might be to come running with a check, but have you considered how your child wound up in debt? As painful as it might be to consider, you'll have to come to terms with the fact that your child might have a spending problem. Should you help your child out of debt?

Don't Immediately Pay It Off
Even if you have every intention of helping your child out of debt, don't do it immediately. If your child knows that you will bail him or her out of trouble each time it happens, he or she will never learn to handle problems alone. You have to understand that your child is now and adult and must take care of business regardless of the circumstance, so take some time to talk to your child about the debt and how it happened. Force your child to come up with the reasons for the debt and to learn how to avoid it again in the future. If you want to help him or her out of debt then, that is your call.

Determine If This is the First Time
If you have helped your child out of debt before, you need to think about the consequences of your actions. When you continually fix your child's problems, he or she can't learn how to fend for him- or herself. It becomes a vicious cycle in which your child never comes to terms with the problem and you continue to empty your savings account. This isn't healthy for you, your child or your relationship. Sometimes the best thing to do is to step back and let the child fix the problem.

Offer to Help Teach Your Child
Sometimes the best gift you can give your child is the gift of your time and guidance. Impart your wisdom on financial matters and show your child how to manage money responsibly. You might also research financial workshops in your area or enroll your child in a program for habitual spenders. Helping your child out of debt isn't going to fix the underlying problem if one exists. Instead, help your child to work out a plan for paying back his or her debts.

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