My Example of a Great Holiday Letter for Friends and Family

Don't You Wish Your Family Was as Great as Ours?

A note to my readers: In the past, my Christmas letters have been fairly irreverent, poking fun at my children’s antics and husband’s illustrious military career. I’ve always worried the letters might offend some people. So this year, I’ve decided to stick with a more traditional letter, which is in normal black type. Read the italicized type at your own peril.


Dear beloved friends and family,

Merry Christmas! 2005 has been a busy, wonderful year. Brandon, who has always longed to travel, started the year off in scenic Iraq. Ami, who has always longed to go slowly insane, spent the first part of the year alone with the three kids. This blissful situation came screeching to a halt in late January, when Brandon received a bullet wound in his foot while sight-seeing in Baghdad. Brandon obtained the wound after throwing himself in front of a young child and her puppy to shield them from sniper fire. For his bravery, he earned the undying gratitude of the child’s mother and the respect of his superiors. Okay, so there was no child in peril. Brandon got shot while walking home from the internet café on post. Since it was election day, his superiors decided the bullet was “celebratory fire.” And since happy bullets don’t hurt as much, he didn’t get a purple heart. Instead, they awarded him a box of Lucky Charms, which contained delicious pink hearts, yellow stars, blue diamonds and green clovers.