Get Along Better with Your Teen

Perhaps the only thing more challenging than being a teenager is parenting one. Here are five tips to help you better your relationship with your teen offspring.

1. Understand. Most teens are sleepy in the morning and mid-afternoon, then energetic at 9:00 - 10:00 PM. Their late night escapades are not rebelliousness, rather "just a phase." By temporarily shifting forward, the circadian rhythm or biological clock props teens up just as they should be feeling sleepy. Unless sick, their circadian rhythm fights against going to sleep - so don't bicker over bedtime.

2. Coach. Putting healthy habits into practice is difficult for most teens. For optimal rest and resiliency, encourage your teen to get plenty of daylight activity, practice a bedtime routine and sleep in a completely dark room - darkness triggers the production of melatonin, the body's own "sleep" hormone. Remember, learning is caught not taught, so be a role model.

3. Be patient. Rather than arguing or expressing your annoyance when they forget, teach the value of making a list. Something like, "Let your eyes see what you must do," helps teens develop organizational skills as their brains are still maturing. While it seems they are negligent, they will get better with practice and your patience.

4. Stay cool. Hormonal and brain chemical surges, anxiety, and immaturity in puberty affect mood, making teens highly emotional, irritable, reactive and more changeable than adults. You can defuse conflict when you remain calm during their explosions and meltdowns.

5. Remember the Power of Presence. While influenced by their peers, research shows that teens still learn what Mom or Dad teaches. Parents have a major sway on their teen's behavior, values, self-worth, and relationships. You matter.

©2006, Brenda Nixon. As a parenting author, expert, and speaker Brenda Nixon (www.brendanixon.com) empowers parents through education and encouragement.