Part 1
Children with low-self esteem are steps behind those with high self-esteem and in this fast paced society in which we live each step counts.If you think spanking works, you are right. It works for that moment. I know your child will stop doing whatever behavior you don't like after you hit him. It doesn't work long term, though. In fact, in my opinion, it will backfire on you.
Spanking makes children fear their parents. Do you really want a child to listen to you because they are afraid? If someone hits you, let's say a significant other, would you fear him or her? If you couldn't leave and felt powerless to leave, would you be afraid? My guess is the answer is yes.
Children feel the same way. They may not be able to verbalize their feelings. They may not even know that they are afraid, but the reason the behavior stops for that moment is that they are scared. The hit may not even hurt; but they are scared that the next one might. Perhaps respecting your child and having them respect you is a better way to discipline. I am confident that respecting your child is a better way to enhance self-esteem!
Listen to what your child is saying. If he is too little to talk and is acting out, something is bothering him. Attempt to find out rather than just reacting by hitting. That is what I mean by respecting your child. If you do, I believe, you will get respect and the behavior you want. Children want to please adults. They feel better about themselves when they do.
It is against the law to assault an adult. You are doing the same thing to a child. You are assaulting him according to the law. Think about the violence that a slap represents. It is the unauthorized touching of another human being. In some cases, such as playing football or boxing, hitting is allowed, but you have the other person's permission. When you hit your child, he hasn't given you permission to do so. Perhaps you feel he doesn't have those rights; I feel that he has the same rights to be protected from a violent act as any human being does.
Comments
beth
(Guest)
(Guest)
09/14/2007
my dad whipped my bare-bottom with a belt from the age of 2-16 i was raise in the 60s and 70s when it allow to spank your kids my dad was strict miltary man when i got out line belt came off my pant and panties came off and the whippen started my dad never gave me couple of smack with the belt my dad would whip my bottom until i was bruise i grow-up with low self esteem now that i had children i dont spank them
Richard
(Guest)
(Guest)
05/11/2007
Do you even have children? Have you been to an school lately? Society had far less problems when spanking was legal. Now adays kids have absolutely no respect for anything or anyone. Spanking a kid doesn't lower there self-esteem, it shows them that there are consequences to there actions. Good parenting revolves not only around proper discipline, but also being able to show your child that you appreciate them being good.
The reason kids who are spanked grow up with low self esteem is because there parents would hit them when they are bad, but not acknowledge the good things they did. I work with a women that never spanked her kids a day in there life, and always tries the approach outlined in your little article here, one kids been in and out of jail since he was 14, and the other was pregnant at 16.
Perhaps you should take the time look at the bigger picture before posting such a ridiculous article about why parents shouldn't spank. Look at the parents themselves, make sure
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