The Amazing Chunky Diet

The long-term success of every weight-loss diet plan in existence is based on the premise of what I call the Chunky Diet. You might say the Chunky Diet contains the essence of all other diets. And since it can be described in one paragraph, as opposed to an entire book, I can't make any money off it, unfortunately. Of course I could withhold it, but what the hey, I'm a prince of a fellow, so I'll give it to you here as a public service.

The amazing Chunky Diet is a weight-loss formula guaranteed (not legally binding) to work for you, your family and even your dog! It's a diet plan that will never be refuted by any scientific authority. And it works for everyone regardless of race, creed, color, religion, national origin, political affiliation, sexual orientation or species. Even if you have liver disease or are pregnant or about to become pregnant. Read on for the premise and the promise.

Here's how it works: Decide what percentage of body weight you want to lose, and eat that much less food!

You can avoid the hard-core math by simply doing the following: Visually cut up each meal into ten "chunks," and leave a chunk or two behind. Each chunk represents 10 percent of your body weight.

For example, if you weigh 150 pounds, then each chunk represents 15 pounds of body weight that you can slowly and safely lose. Have a glass of water to fill the void.

What could be easier? And if everyone in the family does one chunk, you should be able to save 10 percent on your food bill, and that savings could go toward better-fitting clothes.

Helpful hint: Throw away the chunks you're not going to eat. But first spray them with Raid^® so you won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because Raid really doesn't taste that bad. (Just kidding, of course. This is a paraphrased quote from Janette Barber concerning cookies.)