The Pain of Working Mothers: Is This the American Dream?

I am sitting here in a dark living room while my toddler sleeps on the couch. She is sick, yet again. So, yet again, I am missing work. Unpaid, and since my paycheck was so large last month, I can hardly wait to see what this month's weakened one will be. I am a teacher, after all. One of America's unsung heroes.

Or rather, my praises are sung, but there is no action to go with it. Since my paycheck is wrapped up in the purse strings of government, all I can expect is more of the same. More telling me "You're not in it for the money," and no more money to go with that laudible emotion. Of course, I chose this career. I could have chosen any career, but I chose teaching. And at the time I wasn't in it for the money.

I honestly thought that just loving kids, wanting to help them, wanting to help instill some character and hope into the next generation, would be enough. So sign me up! I will teach!

The reality is that eight years after I said okay, I find myself clipping coupons and counting pennies. My daughter hates for me to leave her, and we both cry at least once a week at the babysitter's door. She'll get over it, and so will I.

But somehow, I think a little part of both of us dies. Is this all we have to look forward to? More days of the same? And what if they fire me, tell me that I miss too many days when she's sick and there is nothing else to do? What do I do? Tell them that it's not my choice, I didn't want it to be this way? I wanted to stay at home, have a husband who would go to work, who would make enough to support us, and I would take care of the children, the house. I would be that perfect woman, that perfect wife, that perfect mother. My sinks would sparkle, my children would, too.

Ah, but the realities of life. We both work, and still can't afford a house. My daughter is raised by someone else while I work to pay the bills. Is this the American Dream? All we have worked for, all we try have tried to achieve, and this is the best we can do? Our salaries are so small, while our bills keep rising. We watch these big subdivisions being built and wonder who can afford to live in them. We're barely scraping by - are we the only ones?