Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader, or Are You a Moron?

The medium of television is a strange mixture of different elements. You could use a food analogy to illustrate what makes a great show, or an unsuccessful one for that matter, insofar as a great show is a perfect mix, or mélange if you will, of spices, flavors and textures, while a flop is a Grilled Bleu Cheese sandwich that fell on the dirty floor. Since I fancy myself an intellectual, however, or at least intend to con you all into believing that I am one, I will use a chemistry analogy, which would entail everything I just said about food, but with chemicals instead of spices, stability instead of yummy goodness and the image of me as a successful chemist being awarded the Nobel prize instead of me stuffing my fat face.

Anywho, a television show is analogous to either of those things since it is a concoction with numerous potential combinations to achieve success, and even more potential failing combinations. A great ingredient is always a great character who will create an emotional response in the viewer. In a traditional television show, you need a character who's either believable, but just barely, or a character who is totally believable, but put in a totally unbelievable situation. Jack Bauer is a great example of both of these formulas, because I find it pretty hard to believe that there's a guy who has adventures that end at a crossroads for EVERY HOUR OF HIS LIFE, but at the same time, who knows? I mean, after all, Wilt Chamberlain allegedly had sex with 20,000+ girls while playing professional basketball, leaving very little room for monotony. Because his life is so crazy yet still believable, Jack Bauer, much like Wilt the Stilt, becomes a great character who creates an emotional response, while a character like the guy from Scrubs is the exact opposite, since he would never in a million years become a doctor since he is way too big of a douchebag for it to be within the realm of possibility that he has taken the steps to do so, and his "ha ha hospital" situation is neither believable nor entertaining, hence little or no emotional response, hence Scrubs sucks.