Blended Families: Making it Work

Approximately one third of our children live in blended families. Either through death or divorce, their parent has chosen a new partner. These children have no choice in the changes that affect their lives so profoundly. The transition can be a difficult issue for the children, and the adults coming into the new relationship as a step-family is born. To blend a step-family successfully takes effort, communication, and commitment. Issues that should be ironed out before bringing the families together include money, housing, house rules and enforcement, and visitation with family.

Money can be an ongoing issue with a blended family. There may be financial support going out, there may not be support coming in from divorced spouses. Finances may be tight for one parent. It is necessary to work out these financial issues ahead of time. Who will be paying for what, where and how support received will be used. Will all income go into one account? Will each child have an account? How will money be saved for college, cars, and medical expenses? It can become an emotional landmine on just this solitary issue alone. Work it out ahead of time. Sit down with your older children and let them know how finances will work in your blended household. Make sure that children being brought together within a household are treated fairly, and their needs are equally met.

It can be difficult moving children from a home that they have lived in, maybe for years with their custodial parent. However, in the case of a blended family it makes sense to combine assets and move into a home that becomes the equal stomping grounds of both sets of children, and the parents of the blended relationship. It shifts away a lot of emotional baggage that may be associated with the current home. If a parent feels like they cannot leave a home for some reason (has been in the family for a hundred years) consider renting the property and purchasing a home where the children have their space, and can adjust to the new blended relationships.