The Most Common Reason for Divorce: Marriage

I love the way you handled this topic of marriage! I agree that marriage should be for life. My parents were married for nearly 35 years before my mum's premature death and I have been married for nearly 5 years. When someone made a comment to me recently about how people's marriages tend to last longer as they get older, I replied that I intended my marriage to last a lifetime not just a few extra years. Sophie

John, read my article on "chemistry" within relationships. I agree with you.

Very nicely done.

I'm not so sure that high divorce rates are much the result of not taking dating seriously. If you ask me (which you haven't -- haha), most couples have a romanticized version of love that is based more on the fleeting "feeling" you get the first few years of your relationship. That "in love" feeling isn't truly being in love, but many couples eventually lose it and believe that they're no longer right for each other, especially when they find someone else who reignites that flame.

Right on the money pt

Good title, and overall, a good read-I would agree with a previous post who alluded to the fact that longevity does not automatically mean good..and I would say you are a little too focused against pre-marital co-habitation and sex. Like you point out about money, they are just factors that can be good or bad, depending on the people. I think the main ingredients are self-serving narcissism, self-righteousness, and the culture of greed.

Insightful and I concur with what you have said. It's the narcissistic practices that lead to the break down of families, communities and societies. But man had been there before; it was sighted as one of the reasons for the fall of the Roman Empire.

Another incredibly insightful article. Man, you've got it together. Too narrow of a view, Jennifer? I'll be interested to read your article. Let me check on that now. PTLeena, thanks!

One of the biggest reasons people offer for why others should delay marriage "is to get to know yourself first." I personally think it's just as important to know who you're marrying first. My husband and I were together 7 years before getting married, so despite being young we REALLY knew each other. I just don't see how I could even find time (now that I'm an adult) to meet someone and really get to know them well enough in order to feel comfortable marrying that person. Many people who wait until they are older to marry probably don't really know the person they are marrying. They have shorter engagements and spend a lot less time together during that engagement.

Well said Leena. I'm not an expert on marriage or dating either, but then again I don't want to be an expert on the type of dating and marriages that most people have.

Of course Heather. You are absolutely correct.

PS you make some great points, especially about getting married young. I liked that part very much. :)

I don't think the reason for divorce is marriage but people putting themselves first. We live in a society that demands immediate self-gratification. Everyone is trying to be happy, and people don't seem to care as much how that affects others. If more people would put their families and spouses first, there would be a lot less divorce. Lack of communication, debt, and other issues can lead to divorce, too, but I think if we'd all be willing to compromise, work together, and care for each other, really care, a lot more marriages would work out.

You're right, Jennifer. But my family and I are VERY close and I know who's happy and who isn't. One couple in particular has stayed in their marriage, despite an affair, but that doesn't mean they are unhappy. I've got the inside scoop, as my family holds NO secrets.

Your view is too narrow. I'll write a counter article instead of trying to explain in the comments. (P.S. All these long-lasting marriages that you think are marvelous - they aren't all as happy as you think. No one knows what goes on in the private lives of couples.)