How to Start the Next Internet Buzz Band

So you've really been digging on that new record by Six Organs Of Admittance, huh? Or maybe you can't stop rocking out to LCD Soundsystem? But what you really want, what you really crave in your little hipster heart of hearts is to be in one of those bands that's getting all the blogs a-buzzing. Well, I can't hook you up with James Murphy's cell number, but what I can do is give you this - a step by step guide to starting the next great internet buzz band. Trust me - you'll be loved-and-then-hated by Pitchfork in no time!

Step 1: Learning to play an instrument.

This step really isn't as important or as difficult as it sounds. If you learned to play something in your high school marching band or orchestra, you're all set - skip to step two. If you're a guitarist, bassist, or drummer, though, we've got a problem. Those instruments are boring now. Go get yourself an accordian, a stack of old casios, or maybe even a tuba. Ideally, you'll be able to play all three at once. What's that? You have no natural musical inclinations or talent? Don't worry about it - get yourself a cheap laptop, load it up with "found sound" samples, and start playing around. The more haphazard this all sounds, the better - musical ability is for major-label sellouts. You're trying to be cutting-edge, son.

Step 2: Finding your bandmates.