The Myth of Manliness

The front page of Associated Content today featured an article titled "Marriage and the Elimination of Manliness." This is just what it sounds like - a story of a guy who gets married and thinks that his "masculine" life of passing gas and reciting useless sporting facts is over. Boo friekin' hoo. Too bad you manly men can't cry about it.

Although the article is well written and even quite funny, I cannot help but think that many a man who reads this will think that the behavior of men and women is based on some kind of intrinsic encoding. Somehow I am supposed to relate to my "womanly ways" of liking craft stores (well, I am pretty handy) and hating sports (only when the 49ers lose... which isn't ALWAYS!). I must be a wonderful color coordinator because of my ovaries, and I bet my secret knowledge that diet and exercise keep you healthy was bestowed upon me by my extra X chromosome. Wow. Good thing my female-ness made me so damn smart.

The author goes on to say that being married makes him "less of a man," but more of a person. Does this mean that when I get married I get to be less of a woman and grow up to be a real human? Well, tie me up to that ol' ball and chain; I'm ready to start my humanity!

But what if I were gay (sorry, lesbian)? If I, a woman, were to wed a woman (let's pretend it's legal), would I become womanlier, and lose my chances of becoming a real person? Would we bundle up together in our truffle bed of strawberries and ban things like flannel and Sunday sporting events? Would we be forever doomed to our house because we never agreed on what the other one could wear in public? And god forbid we ever have a daughter to propagate our hatred of everything comfortable and sensible in this life. Hey - that's what women do, right?