Why Subsequent Marriages Sometimes Fail

After one or two failed marriages, people frequently say they’ll never do it again. These people often marry once again, and after things start going wrong they wonder why they made the choices they did. Sometimes it takes three or four failed marriages before people truly decide once and for all, it will never happen again.

So, why do subsequent marriages fail? The reasons are unique like the individuals involved, but there are some reasons that are quite common. Recognizing the danger signs and pitfalls can help those in subsequent marriages before their marriage fails.

Baggage

We’ve all heard the term “baggage” used when referring to someone who was once married. This is a negative term often used to describe kids from a pervious marriage. The fact is, even the most well-meaning stepparent with the best of intentions won’t truly care about a stepchild the way they would their own. This is unfortunate fact of life. Stepchildren are sometimes thought of as burdens in a marriage. This isn’t of course true in all cases, but stepchildren can be the source of failure in subsequent marriages.

Enemy Offspring

Some children are innocent victims of failed marriages, and many are tossed from pillar to post. They are not usually to blame when trouble arises in subsequent marriages, but they are often condemned. They are the offspring of the enemy, and closed-minded thoughtless stepparents don’t see these children as individuals. They only see the enemy - the child’s parent who is the ex spouse of their husband or wife. They see expressions and traits of that parent, and they are reminded of the fact that their spouse was once married to someone else. A grudge is formed against an innocent child.

Parenting With a Grudge

If a stepparent obviously has a grudge against a stepchild, the parent needs to get to the bottom of the problem before it escalates. They need to point out the fact that the child is an individual and didn’t choose to be a stepchild. A good parent will never choose a spouse over an innocent child, and this needs to be made clear from the beginning.