Making the Decision to Place Your Special Needs Child in a Group Home

I am the mother of a "special needs" child, and although he still lives at home with me, many of his school friends have now moved to group homes. Why? Well, for some parents, it's simply a matter of no longer being able to tend to the child. Maybe the child needs round-the-clock nursing which the mom and/or dad are no longer able and/or willing to provide. For other parents, age, money issues, health problems of their own, and other factors could encourage the decision to house the child in a group home.

As a parent of a special needs child, and having had two other "normal" kids, I found that, although difficult to watch any child move away from home, it's much easier to accept the absence of the "normal" kids than of the "special needs" child. I think that's because, although a parent worries so much about all their kids, the parent knows deep down inside that the special needs child doesn't stand a chance - without someone to take care of him or her.

When a so-called normal child moves away, you wish them the best, you hope to see them make a life for themselves, and you look forward to the day when they'll be announcing the coming of grandchildren. For the special needs child none of this is likely. For this child, your dreams lean more towards survival, and seeing the child get the care and respect he or she deserves.

One of the biggest decisions - and there are many throughout the special needs child's life - is opting to place him in a group home. Having spoken to several parents that eventually made this decision, the feeling is similar to giving the child away. Although group homes allow the parents and family to visit - even take the child off the grounds - knowing that the child will no longer live with you is a heartbreaking realization.

Many parents, having learned that their child is a special needs child, gallantly promise to keep him by their sides forever, giving him the best life they possibly can. And for some, that's how it goes. They raise the child, school him, help him dress - whatever it takes. But for others, a realization sets in that there's no possible way to handle the child's needs alone.