Surviving Your Spouse's Graduate Degree Program

Most people I know encourage their loved ones to pursue their educational dreams. As a wife who watched her husband go through a top M.B.A. program, I can tell you that there are definitely tricks of the trade to ensuring that you find the careful balance between work, family and school. Here's our story on how we "survived" and kept the spark alive.

A year before my husband applied to for any programs, he began to study for the GMAT - a standardized test required by many of the business schools across the county. Because he's not a "natural" test taker, he decided to devote two hours each evening and several on the weekend to studying for the GMAT. After coming home from a long day of work, we would have dinner together and then he would disappear into his office. By the time he would emerge, I would normally be getting ready for bed. However, the intensity of his study schedule left my husband wound up and looking for a way to unwind. He would creep back to our family room to watch TV or read, trying not to wake me as I fell asleep.

After several months of this routine, I began to complain that we didn't have enough "couples" time. I missed the simple things, such as snuggling up to watch a movie or falling asleep in each other's arms. It was then that we realized that some ground rules needed to be set. We couldn't face two years of school on this intense schedule and keep our marriage as happy as it had always been. I knew that once school started, there would be additional commute time between school and home - most likely upwards of one to two hours because we lived a considerable distance from the nearest reputable university. That combined with study time would make my husband nearly inaccessible for years. Though I wanted him to pursue his dream of getting an MBA, I didn't want our marriage to fall by the way side. After several long conversations, my husband went on to receive his degree from a Top Twenty MBA school and I happily supported him throughout the process.

Here's how we managed: