A Look into Clinical Depression

Clinical Depression

For a good chunk of my adult life I had what is known as Major depression disorder, which is a serious medical condition. The cause of depression is not known, but it is thought that a chemical imbalance of the neurotransmitters, serotonin and norepinephrine in the brain may be a major factor in the onset of the disorder.

For years I was apathetic and just didn't enjoy life. I wanted to be in solitude all the time. I shut myself up in my bedroom out of sight from the rest of the family. It came to pass when friends would stop by to check on me they would knock on my bedroom window because I was so far from the front door that I never heard anyone knock.

I didn't like the way the medications made me feel. I had taken several kinds, one of which was a generic of Prozac, called fluoxitine. All the meds I took interfered with me being able to feel my feelings. I think the medicine caused me not to even have feelings at all! Without emotion I could not write my poetry. A year ago I was writing my first book of poetry.

I found when I took the medication I couldn't write as well because I couldn't get in touch with my feelings. For several months I played with my meds. I took them when I wasn't writing, but when I'd start writing again I'd put the meds away. Now for the last 5 months I have not taken any medication for depression at all-I informed my doctor-and I noticed all my days are spent doing what I love. I love to write! For me, writing has been a kind of therapy that no doctor or medication could provide.

Being the curious person that I am, I decided to interview people who are diagnosed with depression. I mainly wanted to get an understanding what the disorder was like for them and if medication helped.

I talked to a lady named "Sharon" who shared with me that she was diagnosed sometime in the 90s and that her doctor has to change her medications every few months because her body builds up a tolerance to the drugs to the point that they do not effectively treat her depression.