Four of the Worst Movie Remakes

Okay, so I'm a producer in Hollywood, with no fresh ideas or decent writers, but I need to come up with something quick, because I am starting to get left off of the "A list party" invitation lists. Hey, I know! Why bother myself with something as bothersome as imagination and inventiveness, when I can just do a remake of an old movie? Just toss some extra expletives and gratuitous nude scenes in the script to make it seem "hipper" and audiences will eat it up, right?

At least, this is what I assume goes through the mind of someone who decides to do an updated remake of a movie classic, which, after it has been re-tooled in a never version, fails miserably in even coming close to the original.

Some typical examples are:

Poseidon (2006)

The Poseidon Adventure was a 1972 disaster movie that starred Gene Hackman and a host of other well-known actors in supporting and cameo roles. Somebody had the bright idea to remake it in 2006 as Poseidon, with a cast that includes Kurt Russell as the pivotal protaganist and other actors in smaller roles.

With the exception of Russell and Richard Dreyfuss, there is nobody else of note to really get too excited about here. I mean, at least in The Poseidon Adventure, the cast included five Oscar winners (Hackman, Shelley Winters,Red Buttons, Ernest Borgnine and Jack Albertson) and actors like Roddy McDowell, Arthur O'Connell and Stella Stevens, who had established some degree of stature in films. The newer film is comprised of mostly a slew of forgettable B-movie actors.