Mental and Emotional Abuse in Relationships

When I say "abusive relationship", many of us think of battered women covering their bruises with make up and wearing dark sunglasses. However, many of us are in abusive relationships and we may not even realize it. Emotional, mental and verbal abuse alone are enough to leave great scars on anyone, especially if it's from the person who is suppose to love, care and be supportive of you.

I was in a mentally/emotionally abusive relationship for over 4 years and I never realized it. That's because abusers are very manipulative. It may seem stupid to a person who has never been in an abusive relationship, but manipulation is a very powerful form of control. Manipulation and "brainwashing" can make a person believe things that are wrong, are "okay" or vice versa. It can also be very difficult for a potential mental/emotional abuse victim to see the warning signs of the grave situation they're entering. The abuser will often appear to be "the greatest guy (or girl)" in the world, so it can be very confusing when you start to see their "other side".

For the sake of ease in telling this story (the very abridged and edited version) I'll give my abuser the name Loser:

Early on in my relationship with Loser I started to notice a bit of jealousy. He would often get upset if I went to hang out with my friends. We talked about why he got so upset about it, he claimed that my friends were "dangerous" and he "didn't want me to get hurt", he "wanted to protect me". I couldn't really understand what it was about my friends that were so dangerous. They were all pretty normal people who liked to do normal things, socialize, have fun, and be a little wild at times, but certainly nothing illegal.