The ART of Getting Out of a CAR (When Wearing a Skirt)

Easy-to-Follow Tips Help Starlets Exit Automobiles

Tabloid trash photographers apparently can make a pretty good living just by snapping photos of VIP starlets who exit their limos. Britney Spears and her raw self is the most recent VIP to come to mind, and if my memory serves me correctly, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Kim Catrall have also had very popular photo spreads (pardon the pun) that showed off the goods when they were leaving their vehicles.

It's difficult for me to ignore a lot of this imagery -- especially in Italy -- which I'm more convinced than ever is fast becoming (or perhaps already IS) the trash TV and tabloid capital of the world.

I'm not sure why getting out of a car while wearing a skirt should be so difficult. Quite often, my wife wears a skirt and she doesn't seem to have a problem getting out of the car. More importantly she wears something under her skirt, so just in case she -- I don't know -- happens to exit the car with her ankle pinned behind her head and there are 35 paparazzi present snapping photos, she won't be caught in a compromising situation.

But I don't want to get off track, because what I really want to applaud is that someone finally took five seconds and explained the proper way for a woman in a skirt toexit an automobile. An article in the 16 March edition of the Italian newspaper La Repubblica (www.larepubblica.it) spilled the beans with step-by-step instructions, which I imagine are pretty valid regardless whether you are Christina Aguilera or Queen Elizabeth:

"A woman with a short skirt gets out of a car with underwear on. She keeps her legs together and swings the legs sideways by turning herself towards the door before it is opened. A lady never opens her legs in public."

Come on now, if it was that easy, I'd have a heck of a short article. Nope, for the benefit of all those Britney Spears and Paris Hilton wanna-be's (or for those of us with daughters), allow me to break it down a little bit further.

Rule Number One: According to the La Repubblica article, a few minutes before she arrives at her final destination, a woman should prepare herself and her skirt for the all-important moment when she opens the door.