The Sad Truth Behind the Stigma of Being a Military Spouse

A True Account of How Some Bad Seeds in a Small Community Ruin it for Everyone Else

By Tammy G, published Mar 27, 2007
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Call me cynical, call me what you want but please don't throw me into the stereotype of being a dependent or a military spouse. I love my active duty husband more than anything in this world and while I hate to generalize people, I've seen way to much drama over the years to want to be classified as such. As a former Marine myself, I have a unique perspective of active duty wives.

I was a Marine during peacetime in the 90s and I can honestly say infidelity has become much more prominent since the war started. Back in Jacksonville, NC, unmarried on active duty, I remember reading the newspaper each morning and sharing a laugh with other Marines as we looked at the personal section in the Jacksonville Daily Newspaper. Every day there was at least one ad that read, "Husband is deployed, let's play! Page me at this number." It was my first insight into the true colors of some wives right in our own area.

More angst came forward during parties thrown at fellow Marines' houses. Insecure Marine wives are the most jealous, bitter and hateful humans I had yet encountered in my short adult life. Granted we were younger and usually thinner than the guys' wives but contrary to popular belief we were not out to steal their husbands away from them. We were there to drink beer, talk [expletive] with the boys and have a good time like everyone else. Ironically, many of their husbands were cheating behind their backs but that was neither here nor there. Not to excuse their actions but there were obviously problems with their home life to make them want to stray. Instead of these wives taking control of the situation they looked outwards and blamed innocent bystanders.

 
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Front view of U.S. UH-60 Black Hawk.

Credit: Rockfinder

Copyright: AC

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WOW! Well, I'm glad that somebody finally agrees with me! I have been married to the corps for almost two years and I absolutely LOVE my husband. We are currently about to end our second deployment. Thank the lord! I LOATH extensions! I understand what you're saying about some of the wives. So many problems arise with military spouses it's absolutely ridiculous! To me, I see it as these wives tend to fall into two categories, whores and slobs. I'm not saying all of them, but alot of them tend to be the stereotypical housewife. My husband was the one who told me about the red light phenomenon and that's why he said that we would not EVER live on base. He has been approached by othe wives and a couple of female marines. These men put their lives on the line almost evry day and provide for these women and they take full advantage of it. I am very particular about what wives I befriend and I try to surround myself with like minded individuals. I have seen my husbands friends

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Posted on 05/09/2008 at 2:05:40 AM

 
Wow! Honestly, this is terribly self richeous and judgemental.

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Posted on 04/09/2008 at 2:04:11 PM

 
I just had to respond to this because putting so much of the blame on the military wives is bull. I am a proud Army wife and I have known plenty of the enlisted woman who all the guys refer to as barrack sluts. It's tough enough being a military wife and we don't need articles like this one making people look down on us more than they already do. Do how many MARRIED soldiers will hit on me just because they know my husband is deployed right now? It's crazy...they have no respect...just like most female soldiers have NO respect for the military wife. You obviously need to write about something you have a little more knowledge on. Not just a one sided story.

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Posted on 03/08/2008 at 8:03:23 PM

 
OMG this is just pure and simple rubbish! First of all let it be known that both men and women cheat !! It doesn't matter if one has served in the Army, Air force, Navy or Marines point is when you accept this you should be trust worthy to your country and your spouse ( family) I have seen a many of things in my time since being a Marine wife. While the men are gone I've seen women cheating like a fat kid eating cake! On the flip side I've seen the men cheating as well as if they were at a damn buffet!! Can't get enough!! Bottom line is when those who desire to cheat make that move you lower your standards and become nothing but trash. I could care less if you were in the Army or the Marines!! Uniform or not!! Your trash!! It's sad to see wives turn to "bitches" and yes the men turn into "ho's" vice versa also mind you. It's just a fact of life I suggest to all the women who go through such crap get out while you can( same for men if thats the case) Oh also let me make som

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Posted on 02/29/2008 at 9:02:37 PM

 
Wow, great article! Thanks for sharing! I'm a Navy wife, and a member of the AF, and really enjoyed this read! :-)

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Posted on 12/27/2007 at 1:12:12 PM

 
Usually if the man marries a girl that does run around on him, he may be doing the same, unless they knew eachother for like 5 mins. before they got married and did not even know the other's moral standards. The military encourages the boys to "be boys." My husband has gone to this mini-deployments ( for like 2 weeks in the US)that is suppose to be for "training" purposes but they end up going to places like Key West, Fl and only working like 3 hours a day. It's like a free vacation away from the wife and kids for the men to get together and look at other women and get drunk at bars and clubs while the women are back in the town alone ( especially if they don't have families in the town or many good friends). The bottom line is that the military is not concern about families. THe military town i live in has the most number of strips clubs in the country for it's size and like 60 percent of the people here are married. Hmmmm.

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Posted on 10/11/2007 at 3:10:00 PM

 
Very well written article! I can completely relate.

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Posted on 08/27/2007 at 2:08:00 AM

 
I have to agree with the the post about the cheating husbands. There are many wives who do cheat just to get back at their husbands, who are cheating with the active female soldiers or whoever. So sometimes wives who are bitches have a reason to be. Also, if you are constantly moving around and putting your life on hold for your husbands career, I can see how that can be very trying and can create misery and boredom. It sucks having to pick up and move somewhere and then make new friends etc etc. Sometimes being a bitch is the only thing a woman has left.

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Posted on 08/26/2007 at 7:08:00 PM

 
Actually I agree with the author on this. My husband is active duty and I live in Fort Bragg, NC and the women here are very rude, nasty and just plain miserable. I tend to stay away from the majority of the women around here because most are just looking for a dumb, home sick soldier to trap into marriage. I thankfully have a career and I do not have time to socialize with other wives; thank God, so I am not a mean bitch. Just going to the PX to buy diapers, I can see all the nasty fat wives being ignorant to everyone around them. And then when are nice women that you meet, you are put back and stunned that she is not a bitch. Military towns tend to make you miserable for the most part because there is alot of ugliness around.

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Posted on 08/26/2007 at 7:08:00 PM

 
That whole article was verbal diarrhea. Oh yeah stay-at-home moms are insecure and childish while working moms are lovely people. You obviously have some validating to do. Also, you have way too much time on your hands and too much to stick your nose into.I think, frankly, that you are a moron.

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Posted on 08/25/2007 at 3:08:00 AM

 
.......and just to note........those are backwards......so be sure to read those as I wrote them........will make more sense you ya...........;)

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Posted on 07/22/2007 at 1:07:00 AM

 
Shwew.....What a topic......As I read through it, I thought to myself........LOL....talk about the pot calling the kettle black. All of you that are sitting here talking about the fat depressed cheating wives are pretty sad yourselves. Yeah.....I am sure to catch flack....that that is the beauty of being me.......I don't care......LOL. I am a USMC wife......I would never cheat and am pretty damned rude to those that do. I don't sit around and talk about it......I ask them WTF they think they are doing???!!! Usually shuts it down pretty quick if they think thier neighbor is going to rat.......all the drama that comes from that? I don't care about that either. Keeps me from being bored and fat I guess. As far as these military "ladies" ( and I use that term loosely......very loosely) they screw around just as much with our husbands as the wives around us. I have had to call several off of my man while aboard Parris Island. I know what goes on when you put the females and males

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Posted on 07/22/2007 at 1:07:00 AM

 
Yes it is that bad. The military is a cross section of society @ large. Being apart doesn't help. Sad but true........Makes me sick personally. J

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Posted on 07/17/2007 at 1:07:00 AM

 
I totally love you for writing this article! I was a Marine myself for 8 years and I also married an active duty Marine with a unit on Lejeune. After I EASed I was called by the Kv's from my husband's unit. They were all about me becoming a KV, they needed more wives. Then, after they found out I was a recently former Marine, all of a sudden they didn't need me as a KV! I ended up getting in an arguement with the Company First Sergeant's wife. She tried to tell me that she knew more than I did about how the Marine Corps worked because she'd been married to her husband for 12 years. Well, let me tell you something military wives, until you've gone to boot camp, served your time, put hundreds of miles on your boots, and actually lived as a Marine 24/7 for any length of enlistment, you don't truly know how the Marine corps works. You only know what your husband has told you. Oh and going to a couple of Jane Wayne days doesn't count either. Thanks for the article, like Sara said, you to

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Posted on 07/13/2007 at 9:07:00 PM

 
Amazing story... I too am a Former Marine married to an Active Duty Marine. I could relate to almost every word you wrote. I was stationed at Geiger and my husband is currently with an infantry unit on Lejeune (deployed to Iraq). I tried the KV thing for his first deployment thinking with my military background that I could be of some assistance but I was very much looked down apon. A few months before this deployment my husband picked up SSgt... I was brought into the SNCO and Officer wives club... Might I mention, I was a LCpl when I EASed. I have never seen such gossip queens in my life... It makes me sick. And the two-faced, back stabbing that goes on at the gatherings amazes me. I quickly learned who was a "hoe" and who was "crazy". Now I only associate when need be for my husbands carrer. :) Anyway, great article. As far as I am concerend from my own experiences... you hit the nail right on the head! Semper Fi!

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Posted on 06/27/2007 at 1:06:00 AM

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