What It Means To Be a Mom

"It's not a job, it's an adventure.""Army of one.""Accelerate your life."

Although these slogans are used to recruit men and women into the military, they could easily be used to describe the motherhood experience.

Two kids are running through the house with scissors. In the corner, their little sister is hidden. (Insert cheesy theme music here). The camera focuses in on the mother just when she discovers her daughter in the corner; a duct tape mummy with tears streaming down her face. Mom looks into the camera, a forced smile on her face wearing an expression that screams "Get me out of here! They're monsters!" As the theme music comes to an abrupt stop, Voice Over Guy says, "Motherhood. It's not a job, it's an adventure."

A camera scans a kitchen. Dirty dishes are in the sink and Cheerios are spread across the floor. A bathroom is shown next, with fine baby hair in a pile next to the sink and a pair of scissors is hidden behind the toilet. A small child with an inverted Mohawk looks innocently into the camera. Next, we see the laundry room. Four baskets heaping with dirty clothes are surrounding the washing machine. Clothes site on the top of the dryer. In the living room, a man sits in a recliner watching the Green Bay Packers play. He is mesmerized by Brett Favre. The only time he notices the screaming children running through the room is when they run in front of the television. Music plays and Voice Over Guy says, "Motherhood. The army of one."

And let me tell you, nothing will accelerate your life more than coming home from the grocery store to be met by your sister-in-law and being told your baby is in the ER because he split his eyebrow open on the corner of the toy box. Or hearing older children shout mean things out of the bus window as your four year old comes up the driveway. And that fearless, middle child that climbs and swings from anything, no matter how high off the ground, will accelerate your life and take ten years off of it at the same time.