Why Cobra Will Never Beat GI Joe
March 30, 2007 by
We've seen it all before in movies, books, or television shows before. The villain of the story has the hero right where he wants him and then because of some weakness the villain has the hero overcomes him at the last minute. The villain might lose because he was too selfish and didn't
know when to quit. The villain might have lost because he let his anger get the best of him. One of my favorite villains of all time, Cobra on GI Joe, had their own weakness, one that you don't normally see, they over think everything.
You probably never thought you'd see the day when a villain actually thought too much. Usually they're dumb and don't think at all. Over thinking is definitely Cobra's problem though. The reason I say that is because Cobra always comes up with these extremely complicated plans, so complicated that it's nearly impossible they would actually work.
A perfect example comes in the GI Joe episode called "Cobra Claws Are Coming To Town". It's Christmas day and many members of GI Joe have the day off so they are shorthanded. Cobra figures this is the perfect time to attack. Of course Cobra can't just attack GI Joe they have to come up with a plan. This is Cobra's plan:
Step 1: Get a ray that changes people's size.
Step 2: Shrink all of the Cobra soldiers.
Step 3: Hide Cobra soldiers in presents and send them to GI Joe.
Step 4: When everyone is asleep turn Cobra back into regular size and take over GI Joe base from the inside.
Step 5: Have Zartan pose as Duke.
Step 6: Tell the United States GI Joe has turned evil and will crush them to disgrace the GI Joe name.
Step 7: Attack Keystone City.
See, Cobra is always going for the most complicated plan possible. Their plan of course doesn't work and GI Joe saves the day and restores their name. It actually would be quite simple for Cobra to beat GI Joe if they just planned correctly. This would be my plan if I was Cobra Commander (or Destro because he's way cooler, his face is metal!)
Step 1: Get ray that changes people size.
Step 2: Shrink GI Joe
Step 3: Break ray gun.
Step 4: Squash GI Joe like bugs.
You probably never thought you'd see the day when a villain actually thought too much. Usually they're dumb and don't think at all. Over thinking is definitely Cobra's problem though. The reason I say that is because Cobra always comes up with these extremely complicated plans, so complicated that it's nearly impossible they would actually work.
A perfect example comes in the GI Joe episode called "Cobra Claws Are Coming To Town". It's Christmas day and many members of GI Joe have the day off so they are shorthanded. Cobra figures this is the perfect time to attack. Of course Cobra can't just attack GI Joe they have to come up with a plan. This is Cobra's plan:
Step 1: Get a ray that changes people's size.
Step 2: Shrink all of the Cobra soldiers.
Step 3: Hide Cobra soldiers in presents and send them to GI Joe.
Step 4: When everyone is asleep turn Cobra back into regular size and take over GI Joe base from the inside.
Step 5: Have Zartan pose as Duke.
Step 6: Tell the United States GI Joe has turned evil and will crush them to disgrace the GI Joe name.
Step 7: Attack Keystone City.
See, Cobra is always going for the most complicated plan possible. Their plan of course doesn't work and GI Joe saves the day and restores their name. It actually would be quite simple for Cobra to beat GI Joe if they just planned correctly. This would be my plan if I was Cobra Commander (or Destro because he's way cooler, his face is metal!)
Step 1: Get ray that changes people size.
Step 2: Shrink GI Joe
Step 3: Break ray gun.
Step 4: Squash GI Joe like bugs.
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- Cobra thinks too much.
- If you have a ray that changes people sizes why would you purposely make yourself smaller?
- Cobra has bad aim.
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