My Biggest Secret: Wouldn't Be a Secret If I TOLD You!

Some Things Are Just Better Left Unsaid!

It's important to have secrets. At least in the figurative sense: to have some hidden place in the back of your mind where no one goes. Or to have some secret passion that only you take enjoyment in. Trouble is -- as soon as I share my secret, especially my biggest secret, then the cat's out of the bag. It's no longer a secret now, is it?

You'd think after 21 years of marriage there would be no secrets between my wife and I. But no, she still has secrets. Actually it's not so much that she has secrets as much as I have a bad memory. Recently, I forgot her favorite flower. We were watching an Italian game show (which makes sense because we are in Italy) where couples were competing against one another by remembering significant events or details of their long lives together. My wife cracked, "Good thing we aren't on that show, because we'd lose in five seconds!" I couldn't believe my ears. How could she say a thing like that? "You've got to be kidding. Ask me anything you want," I replied. So she asked me what her favorite flower is. And my mind went blank faster than PBS after midnight. "It's a...lily" I answered directly. "Nope," she replied. It came as no surprise that my wife would not tell me. Just her little way of letting me know that I blew it. I figured the best defense in this case was a good offense. So I threw the scenario right back at her: "Hey, there are plenty of things you probably have forgot about me!" But no, my soul-mate replied. She remembers everything. "Fine -- Ms. Know-it-all, I blurted out, (the Italian equivalent of "Ms. Know-it-all" doesn't really exist, but it was something similar) -- so tell me...What happened to me in Greenland in 1984!" Before I could even finish my sentence my wife got right in my face and said, "You saw a polar bear cub!" Damn! How the heck did she remember that? Fortunately my 12-year-old daughter (another know-it-all) was sitting nearby and chimed in, "Mom likes TULIPS!"