The Tipping Point: Do Restaurant Servers Deserve 20%?

By Brian Joura, published Mar 31, 2007
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I believe in tipping. I gladly tip the people who check my bags at the curb at the airport. I can see them bust their ass for me in all kinds of weather, they are unfailingly polite and I have never lost my bags when checked at the curb. I gladly tip the woman who cuts my hair. She gives me her undivided attention, does her best to make me look good, offers useful tips and suggestions and even tells good stories. I gladly tip pizza delivery people. They remember the good tippers and do their best to give them good service.

But the biggest scam is tipping in a restaurant.

Now, I like to eat out. Nothing beats having a good meal that I have to neither cook nor clean up after. And a good server can definitely add to the overall enjoyment of the meal. But good servers are rare. It's at the point now where I'm happy if my server just doesn't annoy me. Is it too much to ask for someone to be civil without being perky-fake? A server just needs to be polite and efficient. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't want to be buddies with my server. I came in the door with other people. They are the ones I want to talk with, not my server!

So, my typical server experience is this: After getting seated by the host, and waiting too long for my server's first appearance, I finally get greeted with the "we both know this is fake, but don't you like how perky I am!" routine. Then there is no flow to the delivery of drinks, appetizers and the main course. And the server then interrupts my group time and time again when no service is required - just to check and see how we're doing. Is it impossible to just walk by and observe how we're doing? Since you made such a point to tell me your name, can't I just say, "excuse me, Perky, could I get another drink?"

 
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The Tipping Point: Do Restaurant Servers Deserve 20%?

Should we move to a tip-per-item delivered structure?

Credit: David Rolsky

Copyright: houseabsolute.com

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Brian, I know that your 3 hours working in a union could not possibly be as easy as waiting tables, the interesting part waiting tables is both mentally and physically challenging, do not forget we have to deal with people like you on a daily basis. if I were you i wouldn't frequent a restaurant more than once... we (as servers) remember everyone... No we will not spit in your food, that is easy and foolish we know otherways to get under peoples skin... they wont even know about. Advice to poor tippers, if you leave anything at a restaurant we will throw it away or dispose of it another way... including items like glasses, credit cards, wallets, packaged up food... remember it it 20% every time all the time. And other variations do apply, if it is the servers fault, not if your food was cold, or you didn't like your meal!!!! have a great day!

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Posted on 07/16/2008 at 1:07:43 PM

 
YOU ARE IGNORANT!

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Posted on 06/22/2008 at 8:06:07 PM

 
I'm a server and I can confidently say ...."YOUR AN ASSHOLE"

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Posted on 06/19/2008 at 4:06:20 AM

 
I assure you that there are no better personalities that I would rather rub shoulders with then my friends and "family" as we call them, that serve you. I'm personally writing a book to touch this subject to all servers in any field, but especially to restaurants and hopefully create a bond and growth that they can touch you as guest and hopefully turn your thoughts around on this delicate subject. Brian, I respect your article and thoughts and would be happy to chat with you if you like on any subject. Happy eating.

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Posted on 06/11/2008 at 7:06:29 PM

 
Some servers can be are forced, on any given day to take on a larger section of tables then they should because a co-worker may have called in sick, or simply the manager forgot to schedule enough servers for a certain event that went unnoticed. I could detail example after example that would issue a fair debate with your comments but again, unless you have fully work in this area, I doubt anyone could fully understand. Behind the scenes and in the battlefield, servers are the best people I have been honored to work with and have been associated with. Their hearts are gold and they tackle a much tougher job then anyone job I have in the above statement. They deal with situations that guest can not see that do effect their demeanor and my heart goes out to all of them. With that all said, I will say that I can understand where you come from and there could be no retaliation to your article with the exception that you remain open in tipping these wonderful people. I assure you that ther

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Posted on 06/11/2008 at 7:06:29 PM

 
Hi Brian, Thanks for your insight and views on servers. I can understand your thought process and of course the irritated remarks of servers that are committing. By trade, I'm an Industrial Electrician, Private Pilot and have served in a Pastoral position for over 15 years. I will tell you from experience, serving is a far misunderstood job and one CAN NOT understand it fully until you have fevered those shoes. For the most part, rather servers will admit it or not, its not all about the money but an addiction. The money part of course is good and at most times needed, but we thrive on the money telling us that we've been appreciated. To respond to those other tipping examples you've given in your article, like hair dressers, pizza delivery men, etc. These are in the same category but to one difference, there jobs, at most times, allow them to concentrate on ONE customer or guest at a time. Some servers can be are forced, on any given day to take on a larger section of tables then t

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Posted on 06/11/2008 at 7:06:59 PM

 
WOW! You are the table I hope to never have. You are table that gets pissed because we bother you by checking on you often.You also are the table that flips out when there is something you need and we are not right there. Whats the medium? Like I can't stand waiting on people like you that would leave $1.10 on a $8.90 check just to equal $10.00. I agree with the others. All the people you love giving big tips to are people that get paid at least $7/hr. Why is everything in life so serious and rushed? How in this world could you be there for all 3-6 tables at the exact moment they needed something. I just want to understand your crazy thoughts. We don't make good money because people over tip, we make good money because their are still a few good people around that tip great to make up for people like you. I bet you judge your server and any mistake is "Oh my god, this is the worst service ever!' I bet you say that 2 out of 5 places you dine out. You are just being cheap. GET TAKE OUT!

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Posted on 06/06/2008 at 9:06:42 PM

 
(continued...) ... irrational of you to go to restaurant, expect flawless service, and honestly think that the person serving you doesn't deserve their fair share of tip, because...everyone should kiss the ground you walk on for even coming in to their establishment of employment in the first place. No.

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Posted on 05/09/2008 at 12:05:32 AM

 
...Wow. I hope people like you eventually learn to just stay home and order take out. Because you don't seem to have a problem tipping the delivery people and all. And if it's really that much trouble to clean up your garbage afterwards, perhaps you can eat outside in the grass and let your trash blow everywhere... Have a picnic or something and hopefully there are some designated trash receptacles near by. What people have been trying to say to you in their responses to your article, which you're apparently not grasping, is that their job doesn't suck. It's people like you, sir, that suck. Not their job. I don't know how many people, talking to you in a polite manner, more polite than you seem to deserve might I add, it's going to take...to help you understand that you're the one who's irrational. Not your servers. So it's not that they're just "not looking for a new job"...it's that they don't want to. Their job pays their bills, just as yours probably does. It's

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Posted on 05/09/2008 at 12:05:14 AM

 
your ignorant.

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Posted on 04/30/2008 at 12:04:22 PM

 
You should never pretend like you know something that you know nothing about...I used to feel the same away about tipping until I became a server...its not easy and you make minimum wage with out the tips. You should try it before you make comments about it.

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Posted on 04/22/2008 at 11:04:59 AM

 
Ahh, but I never said the cons outweighed the pros. Sure it can be demanding, but there are enough good people out there who tip well that make the job worthwile. Just because something is hard work doesnt make it worth it-plus, i rly like most of the people i work with. And sure, many nights I would love to quit, but I cant think of anything else at this point of time that is flexible enough to work around my class hours. Not that I really have a choice, not being a trust fund baby. Believe it or not, the job doesnt really stress me out or bother me emotionally anymore. Although its demanding, you get used to it, just like any job. My only point to you was to let you know that it is hard work (if you are a good waiter ;)

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Posted on 04/10/2008 at 7:04:10 PM

 
Hi David - thank you for your thoughtful reply and having the courage to leave a name. I encourage you to weigh the pros and cons of your job. If it is so hard, and so taxing on you physically, get another one. You are too young to be so stressed out about a job.

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Posted on 04/01/2008 at 9:04:02 AM

 
I love your response! Being a server is a lot of hard work and I think people like Brian should stay home. He doesn't seem like a very friendly person. My customers like it when i visit with them and joke with them. That is the hard part is knowing who you can or cannot have fun with! I am glad I havn't served too many people like Brian. Those are the people who make the job hard! And we deserve every tip we get 20% or more!!!!!

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Posted on 03/13/2008 at 4:03:39 PM

 
Seriously? No, you don't HAVE to tip 20%, but if you're at a decent dining establishment, your waiter is probably working a lot harder than you know, and deserves the 20%. If you're not willing to tip at least 15%, you shouldn't be eating out; we don't get paid jack hourly. Suggesting that you tip $0.10 - $0.20 a drink / dish is not just irritating, it's insulting. It's almost like you're suggesting that servers are lazy, that we take these jobs because they're so easy. Well, they're not: anyone who has served can tell you it is a physically intensive job, and to be a truly excellent server takes class, skill and a lot of practice. I'm just glad that not everyone I wait on is as rude and condescending as you are.

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Posted on 03/12/2008 at 2:03:46 PM

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