My Biggest Secret

Everyone has a skeleton or two in there closet; something they would rather keep hidden. However, most generally those skeletons have a way of popping out like a clown from a jack-in -a- box. No matter how hard we try, the truth eventually comes out. This leads me to tell you a story that only myself and one other person knows until now.

I was the oldest of seven kids and raised in a very religious family. I wasn't allowed to go to many school functions, movies or parties. I couldn't have a boyfriend or even date until I was sixteen years old, then it had to be a boy from church. I wasn't allowed to wear jeans, jewelery or make-up. I couldn't shave my legs or wear nylon stockings to school either. My nickname in school was Dianna knee sock hairy legs.

This for me was a hard time in my life. I never fit in with any of the groups at school and my list of friends was limited. I didn't smoke, so I didn't belong to what we called the bathroom gang. The middle class clique talked to me but never included me in any of their secrets or after school activities. My parents had money, but because of my religious beliefs and the way I dressed, I was ostracized from the upper class too.

This was very stressful and I hated my parents for their strictness. I went so far as to wish them dead, something I regret now. I tried to run away but after about five hours, returned home. Once I decided I would try to commit suicide, another stupid move. I took a whole bottle of orange flavored baby aspirins. Don't laugh, it made me sick and that's about it. Nothing changed I just got angrier and more depressed.

It was early spring in 1975, I was seventeen years old, and a senior in high school. I had begun to fit in with the middle class kids, by skipping school, smoking, and drinking occasionally. School became more bearable and I looked forward to being with my new friends. A couple of friends in particular, named Kim and Judy. They would help me scam my parents by occasionally letting me spend the night. We would then go out to parties, smoke and drink, basically just have a good time. This was fun and exciting, a thrill of wondering when or if I would get caught.