How to Have a Loving Relationship by Learning to Love Yourself First

If you don't like the person you are, chances are high that any relationship you are in or get into will fail. In order for a relationship to flourish and to grow, a person needs not not only like themselves but also to love who they are. Loving yourself is paramount to having a successful and loving relationship.

The divorce rate today is higher than at any other time in history. People marry for the wrong reasons, they marry the wrong person, and more so, they marry too soon. Not only do they not know they person they marry, they often don't know themselves or even like who they are as a person.

Many divorces occur because incompatibility. But how can a couple become so incompatible when they loved each enough to marry? How could a marriage that started out with such love, and perhaps still have the love, go so wrong? How can two people who perhaps still are so much for each other end up not liking each other or themselves?

Often the problem lies in an area that's least expected, with ourselves. We simply don't like who we are and we strive to become who the spouse wants us to be, rather than just to be ourselves. This can be manifested in several ways. Women get breast enhancements, even though they are beautiful as they are. Men take pills to to enlarge parts that are absolutely fine as is. Another man gives up his particular favorite pastime and does only what the spouse likes to do. One woman goes and buys herself an entire new wardrobe of clothing trying to look sexier for her husband. Still another spouse gives up their entire existence and becomes a virtual clone of their spouse, trying to be exactly like them in an effort to feel more wanted and loved. Another woman wants to control everything her husband does, telling him how to act, think, dress, work, who his friends are, etc. All of these relationships are doomed because the people in them simply do not love themselves.