Lack of Self Love Can Be a Barrier in Relationships

Self-love isn't really something that we give a considerable amount of thought to because we're too busy focusing our energies in other areas of our life. Love is an important part of our lives. We experience love on so many different levels each and every day. We love our children, parents, siblings and other family members. We have a special kind of love for our friends then there is the love experienced in our romantic relationships.

Unfortunately, people don't often realize that the relationships in their lives may suffer because due to their lack of self-love. I am not speaking of self-love as narcissism although there are those who do have tendencies of narcissism. The self-love I am referring to here is the ability to accept yourself for the person you are.

Relationships with others suffer when people are not truly able to love and accept themselves. At times, relationship problems that are thought to lie within the partner actually reside within the self. Most people tend to deny their own fears and shortcomings thereby projecting them on to their partner in an attempt to avoid looking within themselves. Looking into one's own heart and soul can be frightening. It's human nature to look outside of ourselves for an external cause for our problems.

I know one young couple that could have a wonderful relationship but neither one of them is happy with themselves. He suffers from low self-esteem. It is very apparent that he has little confidence in himself or his abilities. She has an extremely negative attitude and searches for happiness everywhere except within her own heart.

Their relationship is one of extreme highs and lows. They separate, worry about what the other is doing in his or her absence and then get back together again, temporarily. The cycles of their relationship are more predictable than the changing of the seasons. It is sad to see their relationship continue in such a repetitive and unhealthy manner yet they will both deny their own inner doubt and fears.