Responding When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce

The words, “I want a divorce,” are rarely ever expected and even less often than that do people want to hear them. These words are life changing and can be expensive, sometimes tremendously so. However, hearing these words doesn’t have to be the end of the world. With a little planning and a cool head, you can be proactive, protect yourself and keep your life from becoming a downward spiral. 

First, remember that when you hear those words, there is nothing that can be done to change anything you may have done or said in the past and someone’s past actions are generally the reason you find yourself in such a discussion. 

Then understand that from that moment on, everything that you do is in your control. This is extremely important in any divorce as if you and your spouse end up fighting in Court, each spouses’ attorney will be looking to exploit the actions of the other if it can benefit their individual clients. Outbursts, extreme behavior and vengeful conduct are all prime fodder for the attorneys. Your actions can affect your right to retain property, or perhaps worse, your ability to enjoy a relationship with your children. 

If your spouse tells you they want a divorce, though it will be quite a challenge, remain calm. Remain reasonable. Hear what your spouse has to say. Frequently the tenor of an entire divorce will be set in the days following an announcement such as this. 

Listen to your spouse. Remain silent. This will surprise them. It is human nature for someone that is talking to keep talking to avoid the silence. This is exponentially so in times like this. The more your spouse talks, the more information you can glean from the conversation which could become important for you if the case does become contested. 

Your spouse will likely ask you if you have anything to say or if you have any questions. Politely tell them you don’t and let them know you have to digest what you have just been told. 

Then, you need to do two things.