Dating Violence: Abusive Teen Relationships Becoming All Too Common

It's every mother's nightmare, to find out that their teen is in an abusive relationship and can't see it or won't change it due to fear of harm. But it seems that more parents these days are coming to the disheartening realization that abusive relationships aren't just a problem among adults. The Massachusetts Medical Society reports that one in ten teens experience violence in a dating relationship. (n.d). So how are parents supposed to cope? What can parents do? And what can teens do?

Abusive relationships can be hard to spot when you're not in them, but knowing what classifies as abuse, knowing what to look for, and remaining vigilant is the best way someone outside the relationship can begin to help.

The American Bar Association states that "Dating Violence occurs in a dating relationship when one person uses physical, emotional, or sexual abuse to gain power and keep control over the other person." And "Dating violence is a pattern of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse by one partner to gain power and control over the other partner - The dynamics are the same for teens and adults." (U.S Department of Health and Human Services, 2006).

Abuse can take two forms: physical abuse and emotional abuse, and spotting each one means you have to look for different signs. Signs of physical abuse are the easier of the two to spot for obvious reasons. Look for bruising or other unexplained injuries; these can often be hidden underneath clothing so also looking for changes in the way your teen looks or dresses. Take notice of who your teen is hanging out with. Have they changed friends? Have they lost friends? Have friends said anything that might be cause for concern on your part? Does your teen have they same hobbies? Have they given up things that they used to love doing? Changes in your teen's habits and behaviors are huge indicators that something is amiss.