Panty-Thief Arrested with 93 Pounds of Underwear

There are a lot of things that, if I were a thief, I would steal. If I were a thief, I would steal cars, money, valuables, and yes, I may even go as far as to steal small items from grocery stores. I am not a thief, but I know exactly what I would steal if I were a thief. What would I not steal? Underwear. Underwear may be my very last choice on my list of things to steal, or maybe right above used underwear. However, in Pullman, Washington, a man has just been charged with stealing underwear.

Mr. Garth M. Flaherty decided it would be a good idea to run around in apartment complex laundry rooms. Just doing this might be ok. However, pilfering ladies underwear is where Mr. Flaherty crossed the line. How much underwear can an underwear-pilferer pilfer if an underwear-pilferer could pilfer underwear? Well, about 5 garbage bags worth, says Police Commander Chris Tennant. If you want that it pure, raw, underwear weight, that's about 93 pounds. Want a solid number? Well, whoever counted had a rough job, but apparently it is around 1,500 undergarments.

These police have had 12 reports of stolen underwear in the Northeast section of town around the location of Washington State University. Tennant is quoted as saying "We were kind of concerned about how to match up bras and panties with victims; based on the unique descriptions from a couple of women, we can tie him to those thefts." "Unique descriptions" is the first phrase that caught my attention. How unique can they be? Well, that's a story for another day. Tennant claims that the underwear will be held as evidence. Well, it will be held only until the case is resolved. How will they get rid of the evidence? Nobody knows. What did Tennant say about this situation? "Would you want them back? Probably not." Well, he's got a point.