Child-led Weaning: Don't Worry, You Won't Have to Go with Him to College

By Amy Weekley, published Apr 05, 2007
Published Content: 94  Total Views: 128,330  Favorited By: 97 CPs
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Child-led weaning is one of the key points of the natural parenting movement. While the basics of child-led weaning are pretty self-explanatory, there are some common questions and misconceptions that parents may have.

What is child-led weaning

Child-led weaning is exactly what it sounds like: weaning on the child's own timeline. This is different from mother-led weaning, in which the mother chooses an arbitrary time to stop breastfeeding and encourages the child to wean. Child-led weaning is the most natural and least traumatic method of weaning your baby from the breast.

How it happens

When a child is ready to stop nursing, he will stop. Child-led weaning is a gradual process; it will not happen overnight. A good rule of thumb when practicing child-led weaning is "don't offer, don't refuse." If the child is not showing interest in breastfeeding, simply don't offer the breast. In the same token, don't refuse the breast or delay nursing if the child wants to nurse. True child-led weaning must occur on the child's terms, not at the convenience of the mother.

When it happens

Child-led weaning can happen anywhere from age 2 to age 7. When a baby "self-weans" suddenly or before the age of 2, it is almost always a nursing strike. A nursing strike is not the same as weaning, and the child should be encouraged to resume breastfeeding if possible.

When practicing child-led weaning, it is important to keep in mind that your child will eventually stop nursing on his own. Many mothers worry that their child will not know when to stop nursing, and that he may want to continue nursing well into the school years. There is a common joke that asks, "Will you still be nursing him when he goes to college?" But keep in mind that the human body is designed to expect breastmilk for at least two years, and up to the age of 7. If the child is truly allowed to lead the way, he will stop nursing on his own, well before adolescence.

Benefits of child-led weaning

Takeaways
  • Weaning a child before he is ready may contribute to clinginess and less independence.
  • Child-led weaning is the most natural method of weaning.
Did You Know?
The human body is designed to expect breastmilk for at least the first two years of life, and up to the age of 7. This does not mean that all or even most children will want to nurse until age 7, but many will, and it's completely normal and natural.
Comments
Showing Comments 1 - 14 of 14
 
 
I agree with this. It does get hard though, especially when you have to nurse two. But nature's way is best!

Posted on 05/15/2007 at 5:05:00 PM

 
I did this as well, though I hadn't planned on it. I nursed until around 15 months with both children, and it really ended because they lost interest, so it was quite uneventful rather than some drawn out stressful weaning process. Go tell Montel about it! Great article.

Posted on 04/17/2007 at 8:04:00 AM

 
Great article.

Posted on 04/09/2007 at 3:04:00 PM

 
I am the mother of four children. I breast fed all of them for as long as possible. All were weaned by thirteen months of age for different reasons. I still regret having to wean the children so early even if for medical reasons in the case of my twins. Breast is best! Breast milk at three, four, and five would be a bit odd for me, but if it works for some moms that is terrific. I can definitely tell a difference between my children who were weaned very early for medical reasons when compared to my children who were breast fed longer.

Posted on 04/06/2007 at 1:04:00 PM

 
Excellent article. Well-written and informative. I need to print this out for a few people...

Posted on 04/06/2007 at 12:04:00 PM

 
Interesting article and one that is sure to generate controversy.

Posted on 04/06/2007 at 9:04:00 AM

 
Very good article.

Posted on 04/06/2007 at 6:04:00 AM

 
It's amazing how many behaviors children will wean themselves from.

Posted on 04/06/2007 at 6:04:00 AM

 
Great article! It was extremely hard to hear some of the things I've heard lately from someone in my family *not going to say who ;)* who said that I should only be feeding my son breast milk 4 times a day. I still worry about leaving him at her house since he never gets fed enough breast milk while he is there. My husband said that we'll just have to keep reminding her that "We are the parents and if she can't feed him we will have to stop letting him stay with her." I can't help but think that the fact that she offered her child a lot of table foods before one year has to do with why she only had to nurse 4 times a day. I finally got her to stop telling me I was feeding him to much at his last doctor's appointment. I had her come in so that the doctor could tell her that I was doing the right thing for my child and that the solid food is just supplementing his breast feedings. My son will be turning one at the end of the month so I'm sure more people will start urging me to wean him

Posted on 04/05/2007 at 10:04:00 PM

 
Bravo!!!!

Posted on 04/05/2007 at 4:04:00 PM

 
Another great article! I enjoyed it as I am nursing my 2 year old (and newborn) and plan on child-led weaning for both of them. I totally agree that anytime weaning occurs before the 2nd b-day it is a nursing strike or parent-led. This is all new to me though as I weaned my first two babies around their 1st b-day... something I strongly regret!

Posted on 04/05/2007 at 2:04:00 PM

 
As I said, it doesn't work out for everyone. The first two years are the most crucial years for breastfeeding, and after that it's still beneficial as long as everyone's comfortable. But in situations where the mom has to return to work, or if it's getting uncomfortable, child-led weaning may not be the ideal solution.

Posted on 04/05/2007 at 11:04:00 AM

 
I can see how this would be a good thing however, I just can't see breastfeeding a child of 7 years old, or even 4 or 5.

Posted on 04/05/2007 at 11:04:00 AM

 
My mother tells me I had a hard time letting go but she had to return to work so I was weaned early. Not sure how I feel about the whole issue yet being childless, guess I will just have to wait to find out.

Posted on 04/05/2007 at 11:04:00 AM

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