How Saying "I'm Sorry" Can Help You Live Longer

Saying I'm sorry, eg, apologizing, is perhaps one of the most difficult things many of us have to do.

You can be sitting there, knowing that you're dead wrong and should apologize, but literally, can't make the words fall from your lips. I know, I've been there.

This is especially true where friends and family are concerned. We may readily apologize to acquaintances and co-workers, but to loved ones, it can be almost impossible at times.

BUT, learning how to say "I'm sorry" can have some healthful benefits, if you examine what's behind your inability to utter those two little words.

How the Past Hinders Your Present Ability to Apologize

We are all products of our upbringing, for better or worse. And, we live in a society that doesn't embrace admission of mistakes. Look at how we persecute people for doing things that were quite normal for that time in their lives, yet they still can be persecuted for it years later.

Eg, when President Clinton admitted that he had smoked marijuana, but he hadn't inhaled. Instead of saying, "I was a 20-something year old caught up in the Cheech & Chong love, peace and happiness days and did some things then that I'd never do now. Sure, I tried pot; it was the thing to do in my day. But, of course, now I know better."

So, there's a cultural penalty to be paid for saying, "I'm sorry." These can be easier to overcome than our family environment.

Perhaps you were reared in a home where everyone was taught to defend their position, no matter what.

Or, you would be picked on by siblings if you displayed a weakness, eg, saying "I'm sorry."

Or, you felt you had to live up to your parent's expectations, and they frowned upon anything less than perfection.

Or, you were constantly being compared to a sibling who was prettier, more talented, smarter, etc. NOT apologizing was all that was in your control.

Whatever your background is - and the messages you received could have been subtle or overt - in some way you act that out today.

Recognizing WHY you find it so hard to apologize will put you on the road to making it easier to do so.

Why Apologizing is Healthy