Getting Pregnant for the Second Time

I'll never forget the day I found out I was pregnant with my second child. I'd spent nearly all day in bed watching afternoon talk shows with my six month old daughter laying on my chest. I was exhausted and nauseous. The last time I felt that sick, I was pregnant. Oh my goodness, I couldn't be...could I? Nah. It took us nearly two years to get pregnant with my daughter. There is no way I got pregnant that quickly with a second child. My head was spinning. I ran to the bathroom and puked...again.

I bundled up the baby and made a bee-line to the drug store. As I set the pregnancy test stick near the scanner I watched the clerk look at me...and then the pregnancy test...and then my baby...and then me again. I am fairly certain he was doing the math in his head. He smirked. "Would you PLEASE just scan the freekin test?" I said under my breath.

I walked in the house and threw up again. Boy, this flu bug is killing me, I thought. I was clearly in denial. I set the test stick on the counter and avoided it. If I didn't take the test, I wouldn't be pregnant...right? I cleaned up around it. I ate lunch around it. I even considered stirring my coffee with it when I couldn't find a clean spoon.

It was a bit ironic. I used to love those little sticks. I would anxiously tear them open and...(well, you know what comes next). I would gaze longingly at the little spot where the second little line might appear. On the glorious day it actually did appear, I ran up to my husband and tried to shove it in his hand. He lurched back. (I was so excited that I forgot to clean it off, woops). We are pregnant! I squealed.

This time was different. I didn't want to be pregnant. I couldn't be pregnant. I barely figured out how to take care of this one...much less another one. We couldn't afford a baby and I didn't want another baby. There was that second line I'd only had the pleasure of seeing once before. It looked florescent this time. I've probably taken 50 pregnancy tests and I've never, ever seen such a clear, bright line. I puked...again. Only this time, it was due to nerves.