"Houseisms:" The Best Quotes from House, M.D.
House, M.D., is one of the most popular shows on TV. Benefiting from strong lead in American Idol, House kept viewers entranced with medical detective work, compelling supporting characters and a lead physician with a bedside manner that makes Simon Cowell look charming. As Dr. Gregory Hous
e, Hugh Laurie displays the comic timing that made him a star in the U.K. The character's quips, called "Houseisms" by the show's die hard fans are one of House's biggest draws. Following are some classic "Houseisms:"
"I don't ask why patients lie, I just assume they all do."
"I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone that someone is probably the last person you should ask."
"...there's no I in 'team'. There is a me, though, if you jumble it up."
"I was never that great a math, but next to nothing is higher than nothing, right?"
"Humanity is overrated."
"Tests take time. Treatment's quicker."
"Patients sometimes get better. You have no idea why, but unless you give a reason they won't pay you. Anybody notice if there's a full moon? ... let's rule out the lunar god and go from there."
"Occam's Razor. The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up."
"That's a catchy diagnosis, you could dance to that."
"Idiopathic, from the Latin meaning we're idiots cause we can't figure out what's causing it."
"Never met a diagnostic study I couldn't refute."
"If he gets better, I'm right, if he dies, you're right."
"If her DNA was off by one percentage point she'd be a dolphin."
"There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is --- in fact --- a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate."
"You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a- I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor."
"Dying people lie too. Wish they'd worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don't save it for a sound bite."
"Saying there appears to be some clotting is like saying there's a traffic jam ahead. Is it a ten-car pile up, or just a really slow bus in the center lane? And if it is a bus, is that bus thrombotic or embolic? I think I pushed the metaphor too far."
"I don't ask why patients lie, I just assume they all do."
"I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone that someone is probably the last person you should ask."
"...there's no I in 'team'. There is a me, though, if you jumble it up."
"I was never that great a math, but next to nothing is higher than nothing, right?"
"Humanity is overrated."
"Tests take time. Treatment's quicker."
"Patients sometimes get better. You have no idea why, but unless you give a reason they won't pay you. Anybody notice if there's a full moon? ... let's rule out the lunar god and go from there."
"Occam's Razor. The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up."
"That's a catchy diagnosis, you could dance to that."
"Idiopathic, from the Latin meaning we're idiots cause we can't figure out what's causing it."
"Never met a diagnostic study I couldn't refute."
"If he gets better, I'm right, if he dies, you're right."
"If her DNA was off by one percentage point she'd be a dolphin."
"There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is --- in fact --- a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate."
"You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a- I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor."
"Dying people lie too. Wish they'd worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don't save it for a sound bite."
"Saying there appears to be some clotting is like saying there's a traffic jam ahead. Is it a ten-car pile up, or just a really slow bus in the center lane? And if it is a bus, is that bus thrombotic or embolic? I think I pushed the metaphor too far."
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