Warning Signs of Domestic Abuse

Years ago, before I was married to my wonderful husband, I was the victim of domestic abuse. It is a dark period of my life that is in the past, but is always with me. Ultimately it made me stronger and smarter. The frightening aspect of it is that it seemed to come out of nowhere. The reality is that there were early warning signs.

When I was twenty years old, I met a very handsome charming young guy. We began dating and soon became inseparable. On the surface, he seemed like a real prize. He was good looking, ambitious, funny and outgoing. What really hooked me though was how attentive he was. If we were at a party or a club, we could be on opposite sides of the room, but his eyes were always on me. I would catch his eye and he would smile or signal something private to me. I would just melt. I thought he was just so enamored with me that he couldn't bear to be without me. The truth was that he was watching me. He was making sure I wasn't talking to any other guys.

We were so in love and wanted to be together all the time, so we moved in together. I wanted to get married, but he wanted more time before we made that serious of a commitment. As life has a way of turning you upside down, my mother was diagnosed with cancer a week after I moved out. Within three months, she passed away. Those weeks were a blur of tears and visits to the hospital. I didn't know whether I was coming or going. My mother was buried on his birthday. For two years after that, I was reminded every time we had a fight that I never bought him a birthday card that year. Unbelievable, right? I had just lost my mother, and my best friend and this self centered bastard had the nerve to feign hurt over not receiving a birthday card on what was the most devastating day of my life. In his mind, he was the center of my universe and should always be treated accordingly, regardless of what else was going on in my world.