Teaching Manners to a Special Needs Child

It's unfortunate when a special needs child is born. Some hopes are dashed; some dreams are dumped. But, in reality, a special needs child doesn't have to make his or her parents sad. These kids have a real kind of love that you won't find elsewhere. And, with proper parenting and some good luck, you can raise your special needs child to be a valuable and caring person in the community.

Some people, when they think of handicapped children, think of tantrums and fit-throwing but that doesn't have to be so. Special needs children may learn slower but most can and do learn - if properly taught. The trick is to teach them early.

One serious problem with parenting a special needs child is that often the parent or parents feel guilty. Even if they've been reassured that there's nothing they did wrong, that guilt often persists. Because of the sad and guilty feelings, parents often try to make it up to the child by giving into their whims, feeding their tantrums by promising things, or simply ignoring the child's bad behavior. Explaining that the child doesn't know better, and expecting everyone to accommodate him, is not the way to handle these matters. Instead, teach your child manners from the time he or she is very little.

All children, as they get older, will try to get what they want by crying, throwing fits, biting, being stingy and other unacceptable displays. Parents who tolerate this type of behavior, or ones who try to make excuses for their child, are just begging for trouble later. Once it dawns on the child that mom or dad will cover for him, his behavior will rapidly get even worse.

One way to reinforce your stand on behavior is to never buy a gift or toy for a child that is crying for it. This only encourages the child to cry and throw fits when they want something. Instead, save your surprise gifts for a time when the child is behaving. Explain that you are purchasing this special item for him because he was very good. This encourages the child to act politely in hopes of receiving a surprise. But, don't purchase something for him every time he is good. Surprises should be special treats not everyday rewards.