Racial Bias: Helping Your Children Understand

One Child's Voice Can Make the Difference Between a Divided World or a United Species

Like any other parent I have what I perceive to be wonderful, well-behaved yet spirited children. I allow them to explore and test the world in which they live and encourage them to be open minded and curious. My daughter Shannon is well known for being outspoken and for voicing an independent yet altruistic view. Recently, however, she infuriated me with a grossly idiotic mistake. Now I realize that is a horrible thing to say about your own 8 year old daughter.

She innocently relayed a joke which turned out to hold very prejudicial sentiments. This is a big offense in our house. My husband and I try very hard to educate and prevent our children from emulating any racist or biased behaviour displayed by surrounding members of the community.

Having grown up in a rather racist family, I somehow escaped from retaining the ignorant opinions presented to me growing up. Imagine how mortified I was when my own child, a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl, spouted off a clearly racist quip. To make matters more extreme she did so in front of the offended race, who happens to be a close family friend. My friend of course knowing my daughter, did not get upset. But I jumped all over my daughter for even repeating the joke.

She whined that she didn't know it was racist. She even went so far as to cry real tears and apologize over and over. I pointed out that even if she didn't know it was "racist" she knew it was mean and derogatory. We argued back and forth about how she should have known. My point of view contended that she knew better. She was insistent that she did not. For the record this is my most compassionate child. If there was only one cookie left in the world and you came up to her and asked if you could have just a small piece, she would be the most likely person to offer up the entire cookie thus sacrificing her own wants or needs. Perhaps that is why coming from her, the joke surprised me the most. She is the last child I thought would repeat such a foul joke.