Bridging the Gap Between Burroughs, Writing, and Drug Use

As I sit here drawing parallels between myself and William Burroughs, I discover that I relate more to Burroughs' life than to his writing. We share the eccentricities of everyday living. We share a similar distrust for people. We share the need to have daily habits (and I'm not referring to drug habits. I am referring to the habits of life-waking up to a cup of coffee, a splash of milk, and Camel cigarette, only to fall asleep to that same cigarette and a beer.) We also share the basic need to fulfill our junk equation-to satisfy the equation of our needs. Our needs, however, vary. Burroughs needs heroin, young boys, and the absence of control systems in order to continue with his daily habits. Although I enjoy men and lack of control / authority, my daily habits need to include the act of writing and the act of consumption, both of which contribute to my basic need to escape.

By constantly questioning myself and my surroundings, I never seem to escape from my own insecurities. My self-doubt keeps me in a perpetual search to answer every question that floats into my brain, as if finding answers meant finding a piece of myself that I did not know existed. Lately, three questions have been crossing my mind frequently; all three begin with why.

Why write?

Why obsess over Burroughs?

Why do drugs?

All three questions seem to have no exact answer, which only leads me towards more answerless questions. Perhaps I should begin with a question other than "why."

HOW