How to Get Along Better with Your In-Laws

I have been married for twelve years. My mother and father in law are kind, decent people. That being said, things have not always been rosy through the years. I am happy to say that we have reached a place where there is respect and understanding. This article may not be helpful to you, depending on your particular situation; this is simply what I have learned is important in keeping the peace within the in law relationship.

First and perhaps most importantly is try to see things from their point of view. My husband and I became engaged within three months and married a year to the day that we first met. We were convinced we were soul mates. It took a little longer for them to get on board. At the time I was hurt and couldn't see why they just couldn't be happy for their son. With a little time and hopefully some wisdom, I realized that they were just concerned about their son making a commitment to a girl he hardly knew. It took years and becoming a parent myself to see where they were coming from.

When problems arise, (and what relationship doesn't have problems from time to time?) deal with them directly and at the time of the conflict. Then move on and don't hold a grudge. My feelings would get hurt occasionally and I would put off confronting my in laws until the issue became ten times bigger than what it originally was. I was hesitant to rock the boat, because they weren't my family. Wounds fester over time and can become a serious problem. If you treat it immediately and with a gentle hand, healing is so much quicker. The scars are less pronounced as well. I found that as long as I expressed myself calmly and with respect, my mother and father in law were as eager as I to mend fences and move on.