Me and Sally: An Interspecies Love Story
david henry sterry
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Me and Sally: An Interspecies Love Story
David Henry Sterry
when This is an interspecies love story. About me and a monkey. Sally the Monkey. Sally and I were hired to act in a Michelob beer commercial. The theme of the spot was evolution. I was cast as a Neanderthal Man. Four hours I sat while a crew of highly-skilled make-up artists glued thin layers of sk 
in-colored latex over every inch of my face, transforming me from end of second millennium American Homo Sapien into Neanderthal. They sculpted a gigantic forehead with a scary hairy monobrow, wee sunken eyes, a flaring nose cauliflowering across my cheeks, thick rubber caveman lips, and huge wooly mammoth-eating fake teeth. My hair was almost fur, extending from the thicket atop my head to my jaw lines, and down both cheeks.
When I looked in the mirror I didn't recognize myself. I looked for a long time but I couldn't find myself in there anywhere. Until I looked all the way inside my eyes sunken deep in that simian face. There I was. I felt the strong desire to grunt and snarl and hump someone from behind.
Please note: animal work laws are very strict, due to years of abuse. On the part of the humans. So animals work very strict 12 hour shifts. This may seem trivial now, but it will prove crucial as our story unfolds.
After 4 hours of having latex and hair painstakingly glued to my face, I'm ready for my introduction to Sally the Monkey.
Her trainer comes up to me, very serious, doesn't even notice that I look like a 2,000 year old Neanderthal Man-
"Don't make eye contact at first. Let her come to you. Get down on her level and don't make any quick movements. Be very calm and very still. They sense fear. A chimpanzee can jump six feet straight up in the air, and they're ten times stronger than a human being. For example, Sally's jaw is so strong she could snap your arm in two like a twig. But it's really important she doesn't feel any fear coming off you."
All I can see is my bloody hand dangling out of her mouth.
David Henry Sterry
when This is an interspecies love story. About me and a monkey. Sally the Monkey. Sally and I were hired to act in a Michelob beer commercial. The theme of the spot was evolution. I was cast as a Neanderthal Man. Four hours I sat while a crew of highly-skilled make-up artists glued thin layers of sk
When I looked in the mirror I didn't recognize myself. I looked for a long time but I couldn't find myself in there anywhere. Until I looked all the way inside my eyes sunken deep in that simian face. There I was. I felt the strong desire to grunt and snarl and hump someone from behind.
Please note: animal work laws are very strict, due to years of abuse. On the part of the humans. So animals work very strict 12 hour shifts. This may seem trivial now, but it will prove crucial as our story unfolds.
After 4 hours of having latex and hair painstakingly glued to my face, I'm ready for my introduction to Sally the Monkey.
Her trainer comes up to me, very serious, doesn't even notice that I look like a 2,000 year old Neanderthal Man-
"Don't make eye contact at first. Let her come to you. Get down on her level and don't make any quick movements. Be very calm and very still. They sense fear. A chimpanzee can jump six feet straight up in the air, and they're ten times stronger than a human being. For example, Sally's jaw is so strong she could snap your arm in two like a twig. But it's really important she doesn't feel any fear coming off you."
All I can see is my bloody hand dangling out of her mouth.