Scrambled Eggs for Brains

Here are my humorous and helpful tips on how one can properly self-destruct and leave that good life behind. Whether you want to or not.

Find a Job That Promises No Stress

Sounds easy doesn't it? Being in middle-management, even in a small company, can suck the life right out of anyone. So do what I did and leave that stressful job behind. Trust the interviewer for the new job, that it is a wonderful company. Trust them when they tell you that the company is solvent and the boss is generous to a fault. Don't forget to ask if any major changes are coming in the future. Question if there will be more work than you can handle because no planning happens. Ask if the person who is leaving this new position knew what they were doing? Trust when you promised bonuses and incentives - do not question how and when they will be paid. Believe the employer when you are told that an extra day off here and there is no trouble - If your work is caught up. Don't do any research on the new company you are going to work for. If you take these steps you might end up behind the eight-ball before you even start the new job. Which is the plan right?

Give All That You Have and Then Some

Spend a week training with the person leaving the job - only to learn almost nothing. Trust that this person that just left did NOT know the job functions properly. Do focus on the fact that the company bills haven't been paid in nearly two months and there is no recognizable organization to be found. Turn to mush when you explain to your new boss that it is going to take abit longer than two weeks to straighten up the mess. Next work your fingers to the bone to get a system in place and the monthly bills on a schedule to be paid. Make sure you give a daily accounting of what you have been doing all this time since it seems you never do much around the office. Yeah that's right boss, the office fairies show up each night after the cleaning crew leaves.

Make Sure to Be Honest With Your Boss